By Elizabeth “Lizzie” Washington of Mountain Voice

A Final Reflection

This is my final blog, and I have truly enjoyed researching and writing about Black Appalachians, mental health in Appalachian communities, and now violence among young people in rural communities. I hope something I have written has encouraged you to think differently about our communities and the people who live in them.

I leave you with this question:

Have you ever experienced violence as a child? Or do you know someone who has?

Violence Is Closer Than We Think

The thing is… we don’t have to go very far to see violence. I know I don’t. I’ve seen it my whole life. From my neighbors next door to school and throughout my community, violence was something I heard about through gunfire. It became normal. Tell me…where does violence and aggression come from? Whose fault is it? Can it ever stop?

According to UNICEF, one in four adolescent girls between the ages of 15 and 19 experience violence through bullying, body image issues, loneliness, peer rejection, social media pressure, or sexual violence. That statistic made me stop and think. Violence doesn’t always begin with a fist. Sometimes it begins with words. Sometimes it begins with rejection. Sometimes it begins with feeling invisible.

Girls Are Not Born Aggressive or Violent.

Schiff and Lee’s (2023) research helped me understand that girls are not born aggressive or violent. Those behaviors are often shaped by the environments they grow up in and the relationships around them. Girls who experience bullying, exclusion, rumor-spreading, or grow up in low-income families are more likely to struggle with aggression and behavioral problems. Reading that reminded me that aggression is often a response to pain, not a personality.

Behind the Behavior 

The authors also explain that when girls feel rejected or isolated, they may lash out to regain some sense of control. That really stuck with me. Sometimes what people call “bad behavior” is really someone asking for help, the only way they know how.

That made me think about all the young people who simply need someone to believe in them. I can think of my own community of young people who don’t have hope because they don’t have an adult who truly believes in them and takes the time to pour into them. I am curious to know what the world would be like if every young person had a mentor or an adult to give them hope.

What If We Listened First? 

Oftentimes, teens who act out are quickly called aggressive. I believe aggression should not automatically be seen as defiance or someone being “bad.” Sometimes it’s a cry for help. Parents, teachers, counselors, churches, and communities all play impactful roles.

 Imagine what could happen if we spent less time judging young people and more time asking, “What happened to you?” instead of “What’s wrong with you?” 

or “Let’s talk about it. “Instead of… You fill in the blank.

Creating girls’ mentoring programs, school counseling, peer support groups, and safe places to talk can make a difference. Sometimes healing starts with simply being heard, and feeling seen.

If You or Someone You Know Needs Help

If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, bullying, abuse, or struggling with your mental health, please know that you are not alone. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: Call or text 1-800-422-4453 (1-800-4-A-CHILD) to speak with a trained counselor.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE), text START to 88788, or visit www.thehotline.org.
• If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services immediately.

I Dare you…

As I close this blog series, I leave you with one challenge.

Love your community. 

Treat your neighbor as yourself. 

Don’t ignore the problems happening around you. 

Check on your friends. 

Check on your family. 

Love and pour into yourself 

Sometimes all it takes is one person, one conversation, one smile, or one act of kindness to change someone’s life.

Because at the end of the day, violence isn’t just a community problem.

It’s all of our responsibility.

#ViolenceAndYouth #YouthViolence #ViolencePrevention #RuralCommunities #MentalHealthMatters #BreakTheCycle #CommunityCare #HopeForYouth #SupportOurYouth #ChooseCompassion #BlackAppalachians #LoveYourNeighbor #BeTheDifference #HealingMatters #EndTheStigma