Who is leaving such a beautiful place?
Many regions of Appalachia are experiencing slowing population growth. Generally, the population is aging as younger people move to urban areas outside of Appalachia. While some minorities will stay or move back, the idea that your existence is a burden to your community never fully leaves your mind.
It might be hard for some to understand
I remember my first time seeing a pride flag in person was after leaving my hometown on a trip to Cincinnati. It had stood there, tall and loud, no ashamed of itself. It blew against the wind.
And I remember how terrifying my dad’s voice had been when he said, “These city people are mentally ill. And look, it’s outside a church, too.” Not because he was angry, but because he was so bothered by the mere presence of it, in a city he didn’t live in, hung by people he didn’t even know.
It might be hard for people outside to fathom—a city where so many people are homeless and on drugs, the police arrest them just to get them off the street. A town where there is a church or two on every road. A county where kids can make the new for being transgender.
Not knowing one adult who acknowledges you are queer and would still love you, talk to you about it, and tell you that you are still welcome at their dinner table. Who do you have to talk to? ‘Cause it ain’t your parents
It is so enticing, seeing stickers on the windows of small businesses about how everyone is welcome there and walking by people who compliment your hair, even though you’re feminine with it cut short. The art galleries and plant cafes draw you in.
And then what?
Sure, you’ll miss home. But what is a home if your neighbors there pray for you to give up your life of sinning—that is, not something like murder but rather loving someone of the same sex. And then what?
We live out our lives in a big city we have no history with, no ties to the land of, and know nobody? We never get the gift of just being welcomed by our families? Of not having to seek out love? We never truly fit in anywhere; we’re too southern and hill-billy for city dwellers but too nontraditional and highly educated to fit in with your family.
In the end, we may never find a sense of belonging, much more likely to face discrimination if we return to places we grew up.
And yet, we fight.

